[This is following a stream where Ve was seriously injured during an attempt to tame a griffin. The following is a collaborative piece. It starts with Rahl and then goes to Ve, so on and so on.]
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Angry was not even the word for how Rahl felt in that moment. Going from, what should have been a simple tame, to Ve getting hurt to Ve then wanting to continue. The irrational behavior was beyond him. Why was she off her thyla to begin with? Why was it so fucking important for her to have the damned thing?!
When it was all said and done the beast was tamed, and Rahl was not happy. Silent the ride home and then seeing to the babies in his building that had gotten spooked from the fight. Truthfully, he should have helped Ve, seen to her wounds but the pent up emotion he felt kept him at bay. Worried about what he would do accidentally if he was not in complete control of himself. Finally, once everything was quickly sorted he returned to where she was and without a word took her hand and led her up to their second floor. He would have carried her if the injury was not on her back.
To the Kitchen he led her, having her sit at the table while he got what was needed to clean and treat her wounds. Still silent, using his knife to cut away what was left of the material on her back, the armor already undone and dropped to the floor.
It would need repair.
“This might sting…” is all he said, starting the slow process of cleaning the gnashes in her back.
----
She could feel the tension, the anger. The moment she said that she wanted to get the griffin still and not to kill it for hurting her, he seemed to shut off. The anger was radiating off of him as he tried to put it down for her as it ran away, flying over bodies of water, flying between cliff faces.
And just when she thought they were going home, that they’d give up and let it live free...he grabbed a faster tame to fly after the damn thing.
All the while, he said not a word to her. There was no shouting, no asking what the hell she was doing. Nothing. Her back ached from where the griffin had continued to dig its talons in, where it’d gripped her as it slammed down on her from above. Feeling the sting, the constant throbbing pain and the way the blood seemed to just get stickier and thicker between her clothes and the armor just made it all hurt worse. But, at least while they were taming the damn thing, she was running on adrenaline. It kept her going, allowed her to push through like nothing was wrong.
But it was. Ve was tired, nauseated, aching all over and all she wanted to do was clean up and lay down. ...That’s not what she did, though. When they got back home, Rahl left her to do whatever it was he felt prudent to do and she checked on her thyla. About the time that she’d brushed out its coat and made sure that she was okay, Rahl appeared to lead her upstairs to help her clean up.
His words went unanswered, sitting still and gritting her teeth, trying to appear like it wasn’t bad. Like she hadn’t been in danger in the first place. Bracing both arms on the table as she laid her head atop it, focusing on her breathing and willing herself to feel better.
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“Can you tell me why?” asking into the silence while he worked. “Why did you have to go after the griffin? Why were you not on your thyla to begin with? Just...why?” there was nothing in his voice, no emotion just the words. Like he was shutting it away or holding it back not wanting to lose his temper, wanting to just talk this through and see what happened and why it all happened.
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“Does it matter?”
She’d waited to say anything, letting his questions hang in the air while trying to think of an answer, but nothing she would’ve said was going to make him feel any better. “You’re upset. My reasons aren’t going to change that. There’s nothing that I can say to make you feel better.”
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“This is not about my feelings!” he snapped suddenly prompting him to set down the tools in his hands and take a deep breath. “I am not looking to feel better,” starting after he got himself under control. “I am trying to understand what happened today so that it does not happen again. Perhaps a new saddle design for the thylas, a better trap and bait technique. Anything that could keep me from watching the woman that I love nearly getting torn to shreds by some beast…” the emotion had crept back into his tone so he stopped again to reign himself in.
“I was mad...I think I might still be mad but at what? I am not sure mostly because I was first consumed with fear. Fear that we were going to lose our baby, or more importantly you. I could not bear the idea of losing you and my fear went to rage. I am sorry for that…” as those last words left him it was like the tension he was holding left him all at once. Deflating now that he was talking about it his anger was wrong and misplaced. It was never at her but at the situation that neither of them had control over.
If they were back home they would not have been out there in the first place. She would have been safe and if something happened he could have gotten help.
“I am sorry...I shouldn’t have continued the hunt, we should have come home. I should have instantly treated your wounds. That alone was more foolish than anything done today and it was juvenile of me…”
----
There was a small jump as he snapped at her, sitting there as she waited for him to elaborate on what had really gotten him so upset. It wasn’t like he was the one in a plethora of pain and bleeding all over himself. She was. But he was the one that was acting like an upset parent, angry that she’d done what she wanted to when she was an adult who could do as she pleased without permission.
What she heard hadn’t been expecting or even considering was how he’d feel, beyond anger. What that would’ve been like to be on the other side, to see him getting torn apart by a beast.
Though she wasn’t looking at him, she could feel the change in the room when he lost all that anger. No longer having to try and keep everything he felt bottled up as it all seeped away, but it didn’t make her feel any better. Having him apologize didn’t make her feel any more justified in what she’d done and it certainly didn’t make him feel better, so sorries were pointless.
“...I was off of my thyla because when I tried to get into the trap, I couldn’t get to the door. I thought that, as I’m smaller alone, it would be easier if I just did it like I’d done before. I didn’t want my thyla getting hurt and attacked because I told her to stay put while I tried to get the griffins inside so I balled her up.”
Shrugging, though the action hurt as she sat up a bit to look at him from over her shoulder. “I’m stubborn and I’m selfish. When the beast hurt me, I wanted to have it on principle, and I should’ve just...let it go, but I didn’t. ...I’m not used to accounting for two when I do something stupid and exciting, so I will work on that.” Offering him one of her usual smiles though it didn’t quite hold its usual luster in her current tired and pained state, “I’m alright, though. I can go soak and then lay down for a bit so that you can make sure the babies you were raising are looked after.”
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Sighing he shook his head, “None of them matter more to me than you. I only saw to them when we got back so that I could...get a handle on myself. I shouldn’t have needed to do that, because you were hurt and needed me…”
Leaning forward he kissed her shoulder, “I love you so much...losing you would…” unable to finish the words he just kissed her instead. “You are going to need a few stitches and then you can soak in the tub. Are you hungry? We finally spotted those fluffy birds that you like, so I will go get a couple for their eggs for you?”
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Though she couldn’t properly feel the kiss he placed on her shoulder, as her skin was burning and aching, she appreciated it. “You won’t lose me… I’ll be more careful.” Shifting to lay her head back on her arms, she let out a small sigh, “I’m not hungry, no. Just tired, but thank you. I’d rather just clean up and lay down, I think.”
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Nodding and resuming his work, carefully stitching her wounds and then helping her up to the bath to soak. Washing her hair and helping as much as he could, taking her out when she was done and continuing with the care. Drying her hair and body, applying an herbal paste and bandage to her wounds before helping her dress and into bed.
“If you need anything...just call out...alright?”
It had been a long day, but there was still much to be done to make sure they were all safe.
----
While soaking in the tub, her mind ran over all of the what ifs, almost as a distraction from the pain she felt at her back. That searing burn that seemed to keep her body vibrating, trembling as he washed her hair; a gesture that would normally give her the tingles and make her smile, but this time was hardly felt. The only thing that seemed to linger was the pain, and no amount of soaking was going to take that away.
What if she’d died today? What if the trauma had made her lose the baby she’d only just begun to come to terms with having? What if she’d left Rahl alone to try and deal with this unpredictable and unforgiving world?
I won’t be reckless… Sitting still as he helped get her bandaged up before crawling into bed, laying on her stomach despite her dislike of the position, waiting for sleep to take her, exhaustion weighing heavily on her. Like an uncomfortable blanket that she couldn’t kick free of, smothered beneath its stifling weight. I will be cautious… Even if it is not what I would prefer, I need to. For both their sakes.
